Fatso

Donuts seemed to follow me today. Teacher's lounges are the worst. Why are so many teachers lovely and plump? Rotund and cheery? It's because of all the donuts. You see, we gorge on Fat Tuesday, and then follow it with not Lent, but more gorging. Brownies, M&Ms, stray birthday cupcakes... a few brave folks bring in carrot sticks and hummus, but it's always left behind untouched.

So, once safely away from the lounge of bulge I thought a healthy meal was the ticket. Healthy, healthy homemade macaroni and cheese with copious servings of steamed broccoli. Except - you see - the broccoli was bendable and moldy. So, it was plates of macaroni. With a bit of fruit on the side. Pathetic, especially for a Tuesday.

After dinner, I'm dancing around to Chris's latest version of some unforgettable tune he has stuck in his head, snacking on a Paczki that seemed to follow me home. The powdered sugar is still on my lips when I see his mom and step-dad climbing the porch steps. Climbing those steps with a full grocery bag.

Dear Lord.

I know what's in there.

Bless her heart, but my heart will be the death of me.

She has three (three!) boxes of Paczki. A variety, she says. Why? Why? Why?

So the boys dive in and (after Owen is talked into eating one bite of the macaroni) they are soon coated in yellow and red spooge. Spooge. It's ugly and funny and really, really gross. This is after Owen's intestines are just recovering from a two-day extravaganza at her house - the food coloring alone sets him off. Last night, he was tooting so loud into the toilet, he nearly fell off because he was laughing so hard. Couldn't catch his breath...

Anyway, here's the messy mess in two versions:

And Stacey, just to show I'm not shy... here's the best picture of me in years - and I just happen to be with my favorite five-year-old in the world on his first day of Kindergarten:

Happy Fatso Tuesday all. Here's to a slimming spring...